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“Call a caterer and that cleaning service. Because we’re taking a break from our family’s royal duties
“New Girl Scout cookie for aging complainers.”
“This device tracks GPS location, distance traveled, heart rate, sales alerts, buying risk, and credit score.”
“Pookie – it’s time to go out for your last poop of the year or your first poop of the decade.”
“Family & friends mailing less holiday cheer – Family & friends making more craft beer. Wait, what?”
“Buh-bye corn hole, kombucha, and camo. Hello! Axe throwing, hard seltzer, and leopard print for 2020!”
“The office holiday party is now cancelled because of #MeToo. Instead, we’ll all see an inappropriate bonus in our paycheck.”
“The elves want to unionize. Rudolph joined PETA… and Nick can’t deal with these #$@+%*! video surveillance systems.”
“I don’t know them (Holiday Card list) well.”