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“Ranch dressing this and balsamic that. Meanwhile, French dressing hasn’t been seen in years.”
“It says Spray & Wash. We sprayed, they washed.”
“TV characters are suffering heart attacks on fitness bikes. Probably too many onion rings.”
“Everything’s weird. Let’s toast to that.”
“Landline old is a thing.”
“When your cousin in Cleveland sends you Florida oranges in Florida.”
“These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what we’ll do.”
“Two bathroom trips and one hour of negative-self talk later Gloria realizes it’s only 3:15 AM.”
“I’m having tea, and he’s on a sports betting app gambling away your inheritance.”
“You just ordered five electric blankets when we’ve got two in the closet.”
