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“So, you’re ditching Twitter in protest? Newsflash, you’re not even on Twitter.”
“I’m a toter; that’s the core of my being.”
“They make stuff up, and then we’re force-fed pills with peanut butter schmear.”
“Hey, they dropped the mask mandate.”
“Teen anxiety? We coped with old school adolescence: acne, braces, glasses, and a job after school.
“What came first, the chicken or the Creme Egg? “
“Did anyone ask you how to fold a fitted sheet? We’re done here.”
“You can drink it from a box. You can drink it with a fox.”
“It wasn’t the barking, it was Cuddles’ maniacal need to always be right.”
“Sheila’s cereal taste test blows up on TikTok. She quits her job and moves to Costa Rica, where cereal influencers are unwanted.”
