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“Let’s toast to another week of crazy.”
“When you wake up at 2:15, go pee at 2:16, then stay up aggravating over stuff from 2017.”
“I know you’re on a diet. These cupcakes are for my Zoom meeting.”
“We’ll have to get back to you. Corporate instituted a clean desk policy, and we can’t find anything.”
“We’re having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave… Who’s with me?”
“I woke up sluggish and irritable. Now I’m peppy and cranky.”
“When Maxine learned lipstick has a melting point of 130 degrees Fahrenheit, she finally believed in the global climate crisis.”
“We’ve given the kids enough! If we win the billion, we’re going on a cruise and buying a politician.”
“Even If I win the Mega Millions, I will keep my job. My boss can’t find anyone for 23K a year with no benefits.”
“Cancel the wellness check; she posted her Wordle score!”
