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“We’ve given the kids enough! If we win the billion, we’re going on a cruise and buying a politician.”
“Even If I win the Mega Millions, I will keep my job. My boss can’t find anyone for 23K a year with no benefits.”
“Cancel the wellness check; she posted her Wordle score!”
“Listen, Mindy, Daddy, and I can only cover an engagement party or Springsteen tickets. Pick one!”
“I can’t stand the heat, so I’m getting out of the kitchen.”
“TikTok’s iced-coffee hack paired with an Instagram appetizer while wearing paid promotions for a YouTube video.”
“When sharks verbally attack.”
“Stay hydrated, avoid strenuous activity, and stop texting me every three minutes.”
“Hello, HOA? For $315 bucks a month, can we switch out the shredded wheat for Lucky Charms’ green grass?”
“I’ve been trying to spend money all day, but everything’s sold out.”
