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“The groundhog phones it in… Six more weeks in Aruba.”
“We don’t care about the Grammys. I’d rather listen to our ringtones.”
“I’m exhausted from the cold, the snow, and endless doomscrolling. You?”
“I’m having tea, and he’s on a sports betting app, gambling away your inheritance.”
“Remember all those candles, cousin Jeffrey made at sleepaway camp?”
“I hate the washing machine. It’s going to take at least three weeks to get our stink back into the toys.”
“Sorry, Rocky, it’s 2:15, and no, I don’t carry money or almonds.”
“Larry, we’re getting a one-day bath remodel. But it’s some random day in 2027.”
“Protein, protein, and more protein. Where’s the crackers?”
“OK, Kiki – Whether you did it or not, you’re going to be blamed for it.”
