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“Pickleball noise complaints are up. Stop yelling, “Out!”
“We have hot dogs, chips, and beer. Not because it’s traditional, because we’re sick of salad.”
“The virtual reality series, Hydrants of the World – took their mind off the fireworks.”
“Four kinds of salads, three kinds of burgers, and two of us. Good job forgetting to put the time on our invite.”
“For crying out loud, eat the donut. Our PCP appointments aren’t until a year from now.”
“Whelp, I don’t give a flying flip if we’re saggin’, draggin’, or jigglin’… Who’s with me?”
“I’m totally about positivity, trusting the universe, and gratitude. Now can I get five frickin’ minutes to meditate?”
“No Hawaiian rolls? Where are the pickles? Why are they late? What are you doing inside?”
“Your cousin just texted from the space station. Can you go unplug his toaster oven?”
“Boob sweat, dry, cracked feet, humidity, melting make-up, ingrown hairs… I love summer.”
