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“The bad news? There’s a tampon shortage. The good news? We’re post-menopausal.”
“Remember all the candles cousin Jeffrey made at sleepaway camp?”
“The only difference between shoveable and plowable snow is our snacks haul.”
“Totally nailed that driveway axel, Dotty.”
“2020 – The year everyday was a snow day.”
“Investigating the utility companies after the storm? Hey, start working harder on the before part.”
“We fell because of the cold snap. Now the kids want to put us in an assisted pet store.”
“Dangerous winds, life threatening storm surge, flood hazards. Nothing like beer filled gawkers and snacks on surfboards.”
“Stay indoors with air-conditioning,and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Sounds like the wine bar is safer than the beach.
“Oh, I thought it said: EXCESSIVE TWEET WARNING.”
