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“They’re on this whole pet parents’ kick. We’re not dogs; we’re fur babies. I’m like, whatever, share the burgers.”
“I know we’re in the backyard. But I told the Murphys we went to Costa Rica.”
“Life is passing us by. Look, Halloween stuff is already out.”
“Today’s horoscope says you’re not interested in money or materialism. No worries if I win that lottery jackpot.”
“Hey Tina, your no-show socks are showing.”
“Mocktails are expensive because they have complex flavors, decorative ice cubes, and cucumber ribbon garnishes. So worth it.”
“The hottest day on earth just happened. So I made some iced tea.”
“Pickleball noise complaints are up. Stop yelling, “Out!”
“We have hot dogs, chips, and beer. Not because it’s traditional, because we’re sick of salad.”
“Four kinds of salads, three kinds of burgers, and two of us. Good job forgetting to put the time on our invite.”
