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“Gloria grilled fake meat for her BBQ – then wondered if her phony guests truly liked them.”
“This call is an official final notice. We have filed a lawsuit. Call now for immediate payment with a dry kibble wire transfer.”
“Fifty years ago we were at Woodstock. Now we’re at the diner, ‘Power to the pea soup!’
“We don’t need no stinking pool noodles.”
“Once Upon a Time… Alan bought into a seafood franchise without reading the fine print.”
“A yearly/weekly/daily monthly/planner helps organize stressful lives – with colorful sticky notes & pointless task lists.”
“Here’s to eco-friendly $50.00 designer water bottles. We’re conspicuously sustainability-conscious, but broke.”
“Stay indoors with air-conditioning,and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Sounds like the wine bar is safer than the beach.
“With gators spotted in Chicago, Connecticut, and on meth in Tennessee… Wally gets some steps in the Bronx.”
“Lightly oaked Chardonnay, Pinot Noir & Grigio – Totally pairs well with potato chips. Google it.”
