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“Norma’s kid is getting married. Here’s their Save the Decade card & magnet.”
“After changing all the clocks and replacing all the alarm batteries… I actually lost two hours of sleep.”
“I switched it from the Mermaid theme to a Make-Your-Own-Hand-Sanitizer party.”
“Not J.Lo’s bikini challenge. Just me trying on clearance bras.”
“When wine prices drop in an election year- we’re gonna need a nation of designated voters.”
“This plant based meat has more fat & salt than my fries? Larry, get the ketchup.”
“Family & friends mailing less holiday cheer – Family & friends making more craft beer. Wait, what?”
“Buh-bye corn hole, kombucha, and camo. Hello! Axe throwing, hard seltzer, and leopard print for 2020!”
“The office holiday party is now cancelled because of #MeToo. Instead, we’ll all see an inappropriate bonus in our paycheck.”
