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“They’re oversized frames to fit my personality. What’s your motivation?”
“Three litter boxes, wall-to-wall carpeting, and good faucets are must-haves.”
“My current state of being is comfoozled. Look it up.”
“Ordered back to the office full-time. Who knew my boss, Phyllis, was in cahoots with Big Oil.”
“Eleven clocks, four smoke alarm batteries, and one less hour of sleep… Spring Forward yourself.
“Forkage Fee? Is this even a real thing?”
“The Batman meets The Neighbor.”
“Who invited Toxic Positivity?”
“Ask me about my junk drawer.”
“No grandchildren photos. No medical tales. No adult kid bragging. Go!”
