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“When your cousin in Cleveland sends you Florida oranges in Florida.”
“Two bathroom trips and one hour of negative-self talk later Gloria realizes it’s only 3:15 AM.”
“I’m having tea, and he’s on a sports betting app gambling away your inheritance.”
“No worries about remote work and productivity. I’m 100% on task in slippers and PJs.”
“The only thing more riveting than an HOA meeting is a virtual HOA meeting.”
“I’m all about eating smart. But where did you hide my stupid cookies?”
“After nine long months, introducing our new baby: 319 lbs. 4 oz. 70 inches. Our hearts are full.”
“Whelp, it’s four o’clock somewhere.”
“I’ve discovered my true calling… Trader Joe’s hauls.”
“The USPS is slowing down mail delivery and raising stamp prices. We’re finally off the holiday-photo-card hook!”
