Skip to content
“I’m all about eating smart. But where did you hide my stupid cookies?”
“After nine long months, introducing our new baby: 319 lbs. 4 oz. 70 inches. Our hearts are full.”
“Whelp, it’s four o’clock somewhere.”
“I’ve discovered my true calling… Trader Joe’s hauls.”
“The USPS is slowing down mail delivery and raising stamp prices. We’re finally off the holiday-photo-card hook!”
“Listen, I’m a nagger not an influencer.
“Check the tag. “Constant Complainer” is a real tea.”
“Great Balls-O-Ice! The thing we didn’t know we needed. “
“You say cicada, I say cicadahhh…. You say tomato, I say cicadahhh.”
“Know what you’re looking for, check the fiber content, visually inspect… Life is like a good bath towel.”
