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“We’re not in the kitchen; we’re on the pickleball court.”
“The bad news? There’s a tampon shortage. The good news? We’re post-menopausal.”
“Hey, you know what would be great? A swim-up bar.”
“Good or bad, Yogurt Toast is trending on TikTok, and that’s that.”
“Peanut butter, chicken salad, fruit… So, what’s for lunch that hasn’t been recalled?”
“Promise her anything, but give her a pre-paid gas card.”
“For the last time, I am not going to the beach. I am training to go to the beach.”
“We made unique hot dogs with our new ceramic smoker and grill. Come back for July 4th — we’ll make unique burgers.”
“Allegedly, Martha Stewart doesn’t do red geraniums in her patio planters. But I’m not Martha Stewart.”
“At least walking didn’t go up in price.”
