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“Forget the Met Gala. I’ll tell you what’s hip and trending… cottage cheese.”
“These days, all I do is drink and pee. So, might as well re-do the bathroom.”
“I embrace this busy epidemic. Because If I’m too busy, I don’t have to do stuff.”
“I swiffed all the wine glasses. Spring cleaning is officially over.”
“Expresso martinis are everything. Caffeine, alcohol, and more foam than that guy’s beer.”
“Post-yoga matcha tea with a vegan brownie. I’m at one with the universe and baked goods.”
“Who needs a toxic gas stove when we can enjoy the great outdoors – and fine particle air pollution?
“We don’t care about the Grammys. We’re not old; we’re selectively not current.”
“The groundhog phones it in… Six more weeks in Aruba.”
“Yes, you’re correct, I said, Dump-and-Go-Dinner.”
