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“The elves want to unionize. Rudolph joined PETA… and Nick can’t deal with these #$@+%*! video surveillance systems.”
“You’re in non-fiction so we’ll keep it real: Silence that phone or we’re gonna stack you silly.”
“Highly rated on Yelp and Google. TripAdvisor feedback is spot-on. Amazon reviewer rank is unparalleled. This has been a paid campaign ad from your mother. Call me!”
“10,000 tweets a day is exhausting everyone.”
“Another childhood milestone… pacifier to digital pacifier.”
“There is no going back to the 90’s. Big Tech – wish we knew how to quit you.”
“Shop, shop, shop… When are you going to clean, cook, and fold laundry?”
“Nothing can be done with three pounds of potato salad, two s’mores, and one hot dog. The Dinner-Spin-It app says just grab the car keys & the chips.”
“Grandma’s got a Device-Free Dinner policy. Forget mom & dad; turn it off or call your lawyer.”
“Alexa- ask the thousands of Amazon employees who are listening – why no gift cards for my birthday? I’ve only mentioned it like fifty times.”
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