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“Phyllis, I need a moment. Enough with the voice commands.”
“This device tracks GPS location, distance traveled, heart rate, sales alerts, buying risk, and credit score.”
“Buh-bye corn hole, kombucha, and camo. Hello! Axe throwing, hard seltzer, and leopard print for 2020!”
“The elves want to unionize. Rudolph joined PETA… and Nick can’t deal with these #$@+%*! video surveillance systems.”
“You’re in non-fiction so we’ll keep it real: Silence that phone or we’re gonna stack you silly.”
“Highly rated on Yelp and Google. TripAdvisor feedback is spot-on. Amazon reviewer rank is unparalleled. This has been a paid campaign ad from your mother. Call me!”
“10,000 tweets a day is exhausting everyone.”
“Another childhood milestone… pacifier to digital pacifier.”
“There is no going back to the 90’s. Big Tech – wish we knew how to quit you.”
“Shop, shop, shop… When are you going to clean, cook, and fold laundry?”
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