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“This is my last day. I’m transferring to the Koi pond.”
“The groundhog saw his score, six more weeks of Wordle.”
“I haven’t played Wordle. I prefer that old Pop-O-Matic thingy and dice game.”
“Landline old is a thing.”
“I’m having tea, and he’s on a sports betting app gambling away your inheritance.”
“You just ordered five electric blankets when we’ve got two in the closet.”
“The only thing more riveting than an HOA meeting is a virtual HOA meeting.”
“After years spent scrolling kids and grandkids’ photos… Pet Parents Unite!
“This old work outfit? Saving all my athleisurewear for special occasions.”
“From retired to social media influencer: Aunt Shirley tells you where you’re wrong.”
