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“OK, TikTok has a new way to store lettuce. This is what you meant by let’s spice things up?”
“So, you’re ditching Twitter in protest? Newsflash, you’re not even on Twitter.”
“Sheila’s cereal taste test blows up on TikTok. She quits her job and moves to Costa Rica, where cereal influencers are unwanted.”
“My current state of being is comfoozled. Look it up.”
“Look, it’s another Florida post: sunshine, pool, close up of iguana. It never gets old.”
“This is my last day. I’m transferring to the Koi pond.”
“The groundhog saw his score, six more weeks of Wordle.”
“I haven’t played Wordle. I prefer that old Pop-O-Matic thingy and dice game.”
“Landline old is a thing.”
“I’m having tea, and he’s on a sports betting app gambling away your inheritance.”