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“Your cousin just texted from the space station. Can you go unplug his toaster oven?”
“I embrace this busy epidemic. Because If I’m too busy, I don’t have to do stuff.”
“Ugh, I’m over it. Instead of texting Happy New Year, let’s throw our phones out the window.”
“My daughter has over two million followers on TikTok. Her brother is just a doctor.”
“Exercise, drink more water, and reduce that screen time!”
“TikTok’s iced-coffee hack paired with an Instagram appetizer while wearing paid promotions for a YouTube video.”
“I’ve been trying to spend money all day, but everything’s sold out.”
“OK, TikTok has a new way to store lettuce. This is what you meant by let’s spice things up?”
“So, you’re ditching Twitter in protest? Newsflash, you’re not even on Twitter.”
“Sheila’s cereal taste test blows up on TikTok. She quits her job and moves to Costa Rica, where cereal influencers are unwanted.”
