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“When your cousin in Cleveland sends you Florida oranges in Florida.”
“You just ordered five electric blankets when we’ve got two in the closet.”
“After nine long months, introducing our new baby: 319 lbs. 4 oz. 70 inches. Our hearts are full.”
“I’ve discovered my true calling… Trader Joe’s hauls.”
“Valentine’s Day FYI: My top turn-off is your Fox News. My top turn-ons are chocolate & facts.”
“I snagged this season’s do-it-all pan. It replaces 8 kitchen tools, three take-out-places, and one disappointing friend.”
“I miss the old thrill and danger of shopping from work.”
“2020 – The year Air Fryers sparked the only joy.”
“With the BingoPlex closed, Betty reinvents herself as a faux leather fashion influencer on YouTube & Instagram.”
“Not J.Lo’s bikini challenge. Just me trying on clearance bras.”
