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“I keep buying cordless vacuums that don’t work. There, I’ve said it.”
“This is a monthly subscription box. If you want anything in it – that’s extra.”
“When your cousin in Cleveland sends you Florida oranges in Florida.”
“You just ordered five electric blankets when we’ve got two in the closet.”
“After nine long months, introducing our new baby: 319 lbs. 4 oz. 70 inches. Our hearts are full.”
“I’ve discovered my true calling… Trader Joe’s hauls.”
“Valentine’s Day FYI: My top turn-off is your Fox News. My top turn-ons are chocolate & facts.”
“I snagged this season’s do-it-all pan. It replaces 8 kitchen tools, three take-out-places, and one disappointing friend.”
“I miss the old thrill and danger of shopping from work.”
“2020 – The year Air Fryers sparked the only joy.”
