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“Folks can soon download blueprints for untraceable plastic 3D-printed guns. Fretting will then replace baseball-as America’s favorite pastime.”
“Fanny packs are back in style. Perfect for toting the antacid and pain reliever needed to cope with all this daily crazy.”
“Goldfish crackers recalled during Shark Week… Talk about hazardous species.”
“Doreen thought her eyesight had improved, then realized it was another all-caps tweet.”
“My Honey Smacks cereal was recalled. Then McDonald’s recalled my salad. So dinner is totally stressing me out.”
“Canada and the rest of the G7 were miffed. Before booking that cruise – let’s see who else gets irked.”
“You’re relaxing with a book – Leaving me to deal with the endless tweeting and aggravation.”
