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“I’m exhausted by all the ads, texts, and lawn signs, and don’t get me started on garage and yard sales.”
“Your cousin is stuck on the Space Station. So I volunteered you to mow their grass.”
“Earthquake in the northeast and the upcoming eclipse? Let’s skip lunch and grab ice cream and cocktails.”
“Today’s horoscope says you’re not interested in money or materialism. No worries if I win that lottery jackpot.”
“Your cousin just texted from the space station. Can you go unplug his toaster oven?”
“Goblin Mode is the word of the year, and for the last 364 days, I never heard of it.”
“Rarely snappy, Gary decides to become an emotional support alligator.”
“When Maxine learned lipstick has a melting point of 130 degrees Fahrenheit, she finally believed in the global climate crisis.”
“Even If I win the Mega Millions, I will keep my job. My boss can’t find anyone for 23K a year with no benefits.”
“When you said you wanted to watch March Madness, I didn’t think you meant the nightly news.”
