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“Today’s horoscope says you’re not interested in money or materialism. No worries if I win that lottery jackpot.”
“Girl, stop apologizing for the egg prices… Peck those suppliers, OK?”
“We’ve given the kids enough! If we win the billion, we’re going on a cruise and buying a politician.”
“Even If I win the Mega Millions, I will keep my job. My boss can’t find anyone for 23K a year with no benefits.”
“Listen, Mindy, Daddy, and I can only cover an engagement party or Springsteen tickets. Pick one!”
“Promise her anything, but give her a pre-paid gas card.”
“Ordered back to the office full-time. Who knew my boss, Phyllis, was in cahoots with Big Oil.”
“Gloria suddenly decides to parlay her plant cuttings into an online scented geranium empire.”
“15K in one day from GameStop? Listen Mister, you haven’t picked up your room or cleared the dishwasher.”
“I’ve voted red, I’ve voted blue, and hardworking taxpayers are over fake you.”