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“Boomer to Boomer.”
“Pookie – it’s time to go out for your last poop of the year or your first poop of the decade.”
“Family & friends mailing less holiday cheer – Family & friends making more craft beer. Wait, what?”
“The office holiday party is now cancelled because of #MeToo. Instead, we’ll all see an inappropriate bonus in our paycheck.”
“The elves want to unionize. Rudolph joined PETA… and Nick can’t deal with these #$@+%*! video surveillance systems.”
“I don’t know them (Holiday Card list) well.”
“Sheila painstakingly baked her five dozen with quality ingredients… Only to return with generic slice & bake.”
“They moved the finish line from a park to a processing plant. At the light, run like hell.”
“We’re OK with you bringing Tofurkey – You need to be OK with our Make Thanksgiving Great Again hats.”
“Enjoy Fortnite and your TikTok videos. We ancient grains are whooping it up for Halloween. Gary, open the Rosé!”
