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“Noise cancelling headphones for the fireworks & Schlox News spin.”
“Mona fires up the grill. Then reflects on bygone BBQs, baked beans, burger buns and other words starting with B.”
“You’ve got a point Peaches. We always dumped you at doggie daycare, then went to the beach. Fine, stay on the chair.”
“Raising a glass to all the moms, grand-moms, pet moms, bonus moms, foster moms, aunts, like-a-moms, and those who have lost their mom.”
“No geraniums, no slippers. This year my dream gift is Clorox Wipes.”
“That gallon of salsa & five pounds of tortilla chips bought in February… Who’s laughing now?”
“Boomer to Boomer.”
“Pookie – it’s time to go out for your last poop of the year or your first poop of the decade.”
“Family & friends mailing less holiday cheer – Family & friends making more craft beer. Wait, what?”
“The office holiday party is now cancelled because of #MeToo. Instead, we’ll all see an inappropriate bonus in our paycheck.”
