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“Oh, we’ll be wearing white after Labor Day, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”
“Got real and fake burgers. Also, real and faux hot dogs. What time are the genuine and phony friends arriving?”
“Love you, but we already have enough mugs with a special message.”
“What came first, the chicken or the Creme Egg? “
“May the luck of the Irish Wolfhound be with you.”
“I gifted myself because, frankly, your Valentine’s Day skills need work.”
“No worries! Our holograms are going to their house for Thanksgiving.”
“The USPS is slowing down mail delivery and raising stamp prices. We’re finally off the holiday-photo-card hook!”
“Dog Anxiety Chews?!? My fireworks coping skills involve hot-dogs and a bus ticket to Toronto.”
“Hard stop on the surf shack. You’ll be getting a pineapple upside-down cake and a card.”
