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“My kids are all grown. I’m buying it for the squirrels.”
“Oh, and one more thing… You’ll need to use the backdoor until after Thanksgiving.”
“Pumpkin Spice toilet paper and toilet bowl cleaner; you don’t have to thank us.”
“It’s officially the end of summer when Brenda gets pool noodles for 70% off.”
“Life is passing us by. Look, Halloween stuff is already out.”
“We have hot dogs, chips, and beer. Not because it’s traditional, because we’re sick of salad.”
“The virtual reality series, Hydrants of the World – took their mind off the fireworks.”
“No Hawaiian rolls? Where are the pickles? Why are they late? What are you doing inside?”
“They sent some Home Spa kit. Two eye thingies and a loofah to exfoliate my tough exterior.”
“After the Easter Bunny turned fifty, there was no more hippity hoppity down the trail.”
