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“The virtual reality series, Hydrants of the World – took their mind off the fireworks.”
“No Hawaiian rolls? Where are the pickles? Why are they late? What are you doing inside?”
“They sent some Home Spa kit. Two eye thingies and a loofah to exfoliate my tough exterior.”
“After the Easter Bunny turned fifty, there was no more hippity hoppity down the trail.”
“Red Vines, wine, and potato chips… Time to celebrate Galentine’s and Valentine’s Day.”
“The groundhog phones it in… Six more weeks in Aruba.”
“Stop saying you’re overstuffed! I told you to order the XXL racing tee.”
“Listen, Sweetie, who needs me when you can do Ina Garten’s make-ahead Coquilles St. Jacques for Thanksgiving?”
“How are our costumes offensive and culturally inappropriate? He’s a real clown and I can be a real bitch.”
“Phyllis, did you just state the cat ordered my Halloween costume?”
