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“I got real and fake burgers and hot dogs. What time are your phony friends coming over?”
“Our ceramic smoker costs $350, and yes, we’re making a package of hot dogs for $5.99. Anything else?”
“Love you, but we already have enough mugs with a special message.”
“Listen, Chickie, I got jelly beans, chocolate, and marshmallows… I don’t carry those kind of gummies.”
“May the luck of the Irish Wolfhound be with you.”
“I bought twenty-four boxes of conversation hearts because texting with my husband is ridiculous.”
“The groundhogs predict six more weeks of number-one ratings for their podcast.”
“We’ll never make it to midnight. Let’s make popcorn and see if we can last until ten-thirty.”
“I threw all their gifts into one big box and slapped a bow on it. “
“We’re not sending cards, and we’re not doing the gift thing. After 40 years of thankless holidays, you’re welcome.”
