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“Our ceramic smoker costs $350, and yes, we’re making a package of hot dogs for $5.99. Anything else?”
“Love you, but we already have enough mugs with a special message.”
“Listen, Chickie, I got jelly beans, chocolate, and marshmallows… I don’t carry those kind of gummies.”
“May the luck of the Irish Wolfhound be with you.”
“I bought twenty-four boxes of conversation hearts because texting with my husband is ridiculous.”
“The groundhogs predict six more weeks of number-one ratings for their podcast.”
“We’ll never make it to midnight. Let’s make popcorn and see if we can last until ten-thirty.”
“I threw all their gifts into one big box and slapped a bow on it. “
“We’re not sending cards, and we’re not doing the gift thing. After 40 years of thankless holidays, you’re welcome.”
“This year, we didn’t go anywhere or do anything, and It’s the S.O.S. with the family. The Smiths. Finally! A great holiday newsletter.”
