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“I threw all their gifts into one box and slapped a bow on it. Done! “
“I’ll only do a holiday cookie swap if there’s a Slice & Bake Bouncer by the door.”
“After 40 years of thankless holidays, our presence is your present. You’re welcome!”
“When they say, Go! Run to the nearest vegan.”
“Three hours in a crowded orchard with screaming kids and their crazy parents; a fall family tradition.“
“My kids are grown. I’m buying it for the squirrels.”
“I’m taking this year off. It’s the cat’s turn to wear a dopey costume.”
“What do you mean it’s one gourd too many?”
“The dog hates them. But Milo seems conflicted about the fireworks.”
“I got real and fake burgers and hot dogs. What time are your phony friends coming over?”
