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“Never mind! I gifted myself because, frankly, your Valentine’s Day skills need work.”
“The groundhog phones it in… Six more weeks in Aruba.”
“I like to give it a few days before tossing all the holiday cookies and candy. You know, as a courtesy.”
“When your cousin in Cleveland sends you Florida oranges in Florida.”
“My new ergonomic desk was a holiday bargain. Standing and shopping is so much better for my health.”
“Come on, Sheila – it’s so much easier to order five pizzas.”
“The holidays are coming, where can we go to escape the family?”
“When your kids and all the neighborhood kids are all grown and gone, make sure you have candy corn martinis for self-care.”
“We’re running late. Someone cast a spell on our car battery.”
“Listen, LaBoobie, you’re not borrowing my slippers for your costume.”
