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“These days, all I do is drink and pee. So, might as well re-do the bathroom.”
“Post-yoga matcha tea with a vegan brownie. I’m at one with the universe and baked goods.”
“Most people are bored at work. So I signed us up for chair yoga.”
“Stop saying you’re overstuffed! I told you to order the XXL racing tee.”
“We just hit 10,000 words on our talk.”
“Exercise, drink more water, and reduce that screen time!”
“When you wake up at 2:15, go pee at 2:16, then stay up aggravating over stuff from 2017.”
“I woke up sluggish and irritable. Now I’m peppy and cranky.”
“We’re fabulously flabby, gabby, and seldom crabby.”
“At least walking didn’t go up in price.”
