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“These are eco-friendly bamboo straws. Think Gilligan’s Island meets CNN.”
“Oh, I thought it said: EXCESSIVE TWEET WARNING.”
“Blocks 9/11 victim’s fund, but totally OK with corporate tax cuts? Think he’s confusing massive debt with indebtedness to first responders who served our country.”
“Toxic algae bloom closed the beach. Unhealthy poop bacteria found in the pool. And the public toilet at the bus station won an award.”
“Who knew three years ago we’d be living in the burbs? All you can eat seeds, swimming pools, and our cubs love the swing-sets.”
“The kids waited 10 hours in raging storms for this new Harry Potter ride. They’d better also line up for the 2020 political roller-coaster.”
“Let’s sell the condo, buy tickets from NASA, and visit the Space Station… Or we could just stay home and binge watch.”
“No new patient forms needed. Quest Diagnostics says 12 million had their personal, financial, and medical info breached.”
“I just put a deposit on a high-tech aquarium & filtration system. I’m retiring from ocean trash & toxins.”
“Removed all climate science facts. Rolled back environmental rules. Extra carbon dioxide for all. Happy Severe Weather Day to you too!”
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