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“I’d offer you a cookie, but lately they’re too dang expensive. How about a crash course in civics?”
“Remember when having a toaster oven in a dorm room violated campus policy? Just sayin'”
“We’ve given the kids enough! If we win the billion, we’re going on a cruise and buying a politician.”
“Keep eating those chips and smoking – It’ll help your vaccine eligibility.”
“In the era of anxious. In the sea of despair-Ta da! The Golden Globe nominations.”
“Facebook, Instagram & Twitter banned him. Call me old fashioned, they shoulda put a sock in it a long time ago.”
“We have 37 factually wrong mutual friends. Do we unfollow, mute, or continue overusing the laughing emoji?”
“Frosty the Snowman who believed in science.”
“2020 – The year everyday was a snow day.”
“Yes, Virginia, there is NO evidence of widespread voter fraud.”
