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“Your side hustle as an Instagram pet influencer is at odds with our ‘Big Eight’ accounting firm culture.”
“Rusty, it’s schlocky movie night. Fox News, CNN, and that 24/7 shopping channel just leads to growling, howling, and begging.”
“This call is an official final notice. We have filed a lawsuit. Call now for immediate payment with a dry kibble wire transfer.”
“They left me all alone with my fireworks anxiety. Gonna live-stream; Stress chewing, nervous peeing, and getting into their CBD oil stash.”
“Our menu is farm-to-table- to-floor. Feel free to chase the truck.”
“Grumpy cat passed away. But your cheery, happy, easygoing dog needs to go out now.”
“A good pack leader, responsible, kind, respectful, no continuous barking. Plus, own that poop and pick it up… That’s my perfect candidate.”
“Men’s beards are dirtier than dog fur. There’s a treat involved if you get yourself to a groomer.”
“Once upon a time before these damn ticks took over the yard.”
“Rusty, as a top social media influencer – getting into driving school was all you.”
