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“Phyllis, did you just state the cat ordered my Halloween costume?”
“No, you can’t. Even with pet insurance, they still get to pick the vet.”
“Wanna go out? Wanna treat? Get your toy! Helicopter Pet Parents are a thing.”
“They make stuff up, and then we’re force-fed pills with peanut butter schmear.”
“It wasn’t the barking, it was Cuddles’ maniacal need to always be right.”
“Don’t they realize we smell those plug-in air-freshener thingies 1000 times more than they do?
“May the luck of the Irish Wolfhound be with you.”
“OK, Fluffy, the stare at nothing schtick is getting old.
“Pee.Poop.Eat.Sleep. My week is wall to wall.”
“You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a Puppy Bowl contender.”
