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“Thanksgiving’s a very busy travel day. But when you’re a chicken – it’s just Thursday.”
“Washington sign of the times: Leaving to spend more time in reality.”
“Voter alert dogs will faithfully stare until their owners vote. Then systematically chew-up all campaign direct mail.”
“Posted my ‘I Voted’ sticker on Facebook. Put our ‘We Voted!’ story on Instagram. Then tweeted an #IVotedSticker. Whelp, now we wait.”
“Guess we swapped out career politicians for endless campaigners.”
“There’s fanatical sports bars to root on your team – So why not partisan political pubs?”
“My grand-kids are over-scheduled, micromanaged and tracked by parental control apps. Here’s a trust exercise: Less phone, more family dinners.”
“When you’re back to work – and everyone else is still on vacation.”
“Because some days you’re perfectly fine with resting bitch face.”
“For all the road comics who will never get their own sitcom; You got two chances and squandered it all with one racist tweet. Whelp, I’ll be in Cleveland on Friday, Detroit on Saturday…”
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