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“I swiffed all the wine glasses. Spring cleaning is officially over.”
“Hold that breaking news, let me turn your attention to my loaf pan collection.”
“Pee.Poop.Eat.Sleep – a full hour earlier. Works for me.”
“I’d offer you a cookie, but lately they’re too dang expensive. How about a crash course in civics?”
“If you insist on watching the news, you must get the ice cream and chips and make two double high-balls.”
“Ask your doctor if that donut is right for you.”
“Never mind, I gifted myself. Oh, and good luck with that personality!”
“Thank goodness for the Super Bowl. I needed a day off from kale.”
“Grade A, my rump! Egg prices are sky-high, and they’re paying us chicken feed.”
“The groundhog announces six more weeks of posting his Wordle scores.”