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“Ask me about my junk drawer.”
“This year I’m only doing plastic eggs, and those marshmallow things that look like you.”
“Promoting flakes and flax as an ill-informed know-it-all, Sheila aspires to be a full-time cold cereal influencer.”
“I’m on a news diet. Cottage cheese and no baloney.”
“I swiffed all the wine glasses. Spring cleaning is officially over.”
“Hold that breaking news, let me turn your attention to my loaf pan collection.”
“Pee.Poop.Eat.Sleep – a full hour earlier. Works for me.”
“I’d offer you a cookie, but lately they’re too dang expensive. How about a crash course in civics?”
“If you insist on watching the news, you must get the ice cream and chips and make two double high-balls.”
“Ask your doctor if that donut is right for you.”
