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“They’re oversized frames to help me see better. Right now, I see you’re not listening to a word I’m saying.”
“Listen, Gary. It’s a happy hour. It’s not a whining, complaining, annoying hour.”
“Not watching the returns. I’ll be binging that romance TV channel – magically transporting me to a small town filled with love and schlocky songs.”
“Turned my clock and donut back one hour.”
“I’m exhausted by all the ads, texts, and lawn signs, and don’t get me started on garage and yard sales.”
“Three hours in a crowded orchard with screaming kids and their crazy parents; a fall family tradition.“
“My kids are grown. I’m buying it for the squirrels.”
“I’m taking this year off. It’s the cat’s turn to wear a dopey costume.”
“What do you mean it’s one gourd too many?”
“I’ll tell you why. Fitted sheets have stretchy, rounded edges… just like me.”
